Today we had Christmas lunch at Seb & Anna's. Tomorrow they're coming over for Hanukkah candle lighting. That's London. Then we get back to the flat and hear about the suicide attack. That's home.

The only nice piece of news today was that the Israeli MOF is throwing M$ out the window and instructing all government offices to purchase Linux boxes. I know, it really doesn't fit on the same page with the previous post. Still, it made me smile.

Today's Ha'aretz headlines. 4 Israelis killed in a suicide bombing. 5 Palestinians killed in an assassination attempt. No. I do not see a parallel. No I do not think one justifies the other (or vice versa). All I see is 9 more dead people.

Please, read this (sorry - looks like Hebrew only). Its a petition to stop the ring road that would transform the Jerusalem mountains into a heap of asphalt.

Duh. Don't blog when you're angry says Imshin. (actually, she was quoting Meryl). Well, you're right. I wasn't quite myself. And actually, you were much, much more decent then Ze'ev Shif.

So, my apologies for being a dickhead.

But anyway, since you asked. The reason I didn't post a translation of my Dublin talk to Hebrew is that I never had the time to translate it. The reason I gave a talk at Dublin, and not in Dimona is because I was asked to speak in Dublin, and not in Dimona. And since you're probably wondering, the reason I'm here in London is to do a PhD in education.

Let me tell you a story. One day I get a call from the BBC. They're shooting this current-affairs-light program for young people, and they thought they'd have an item on Israel and refusniks. So, they're going to call in this guy from Beitar, and would I care to come? Now, after a few experiences I've had, I hesitated. But in the end, I thought its better that I go than not. So, here we are in the studio lobby. I spot the guy in the 10-years-out-of date suit. "Shimon?" I say, "Yishay. " we shake. He explains to the host that he can't accept a drink, but maybe a glass of water, thank you. "Look" I say, "I know we have our differences, but here we're both representing Israel, each by his own belief. Let's not let them drag us into anything ugly." He says sure, and how's that guy, what's his name doing? fingers the bartender for a glass of white please.

Then we go on stage (after the item on the appalling sanitary conditions of pigs). It 20 sec he's all over me, with "since 9/11 the world knows" and "Israel is in the front line of the world war against terror" and "fighting terror isn't easy. Some people just aren't up to it." While I was busy trying to fight off the hosts, who were drooling for me to tell how I killed Palestinian babies with my teeth. In the end, I think I did manage to get my message across. Simple. Violence doesn't work. That's all, have a nice day.

Why am I telling you this? Well, frankly, I think I did my country better service than the guy who's paid to do the job. I am patriotic, I am a Zionist, and I have never hesitated to say so in places which would normally not let one in. The problem with Israel's image is not me. If anything, I (and other refusniks) show that the picture is not that simple. Not that I'm looking for any medals. By the way, I pretty much stopped giving public talks. Just that you brought it up..

Now, about that remark I made about mainstream and active service. Sorry. Badly phrased. The point was that in my view quietly avoiding "unpleasant" service is much worse then standing up for your beliefs and bearing the consequences. I didn't side-step the law. I faced it.

Oh well, enough of this. Happy Hanukkah.

So. Pim posted a note about refusniks and Imshin had something to say about that. Was that what gave me the itch, or is it what R. calls "the back of the broom closet syndrome"?

Whatever. Next time, before you call someone a "self-appointed Don Quixote-type who feels superior and therefore above the law", please have the courtesy to spend five minutes of your life listening to what this person has to say. You know, being mainstream is no guarantee against self-righteousness. I was bloody mainstream for 17 years. No, actually that's not true. The mainstream, and we both now it, doesn't know one side of a gun barrel from another. Most able Israeli males don't have to bother about refusal, because if they do any service at all, its a 9-5 in Tel Aviv. If I did 17 years of regular and reserve service in the territories, and then, after long and hard deliberation decided that I would serve my country best by refusing, don't you think I at least earned the right for you to hear me* before you put words in my mouth?

Because no, I don't think I am above the law. In fact, I'm the sucker who bows his head and pays the price, while the mainstream guys get medical papers. Believe me, if I wanted I could have found an easy way out, just like 10,000 others. Hell, my commanders even suggested it. And yes, I think that right wing refusal is just as legitimate as left wing. But don't play dumb. The good guys in Tapuach or Yitzhar can't really be bothered. Refusal? Don't' make me laugh. They shoot.

Civil disobedience is part of the democratic game. It is an extreme form of protest. Read some Thoreau? It is justified (and this is my personal definition) under three terms:

• It is non-violent


• It is a personal act


• It it a result of careful deliberation, and a conclusion that the evil it brings is overwhelmed by the evil it warns against

Oh and about the number on the counter. Has it occurred to you that many refusniks are afraid to have their name made public? As in, afraid to loose their job? Their friends? But that's beside the point. This pettiness is really not worth arguing. I mean, at the time I was in Military prison 6, there were over 40 refusniks with me. That's more then there were during the whole Lebanon war. 40 should be enough to make you think. Why do these people, who have always been on the front lines, choose to spend a month in prison? Why do they defy their friends, family, upbringing, suffer economic loss? 4 should make you wonder. 40 should make you stop and think. 400 should make you shout "what the hell is wrong here?" So, you think there's only 1167, and not 1220? Fine. Have it your way.


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* In case IndyMedia's server is down, my text is googlecached

Education Ministry grants first permit to private school. That's us, i.e., Keshet school.